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I can’t believe I lost so much time daydreaming today.
I’m actually kind of embarrassed about it; you know what my classload is like this semester, Sylvie. I don’t have time to daydream, especially not with finals coming up. Remember how I told you I was going to the library today and I was going to really hit the books hard for at least five hours?
Shyeah. Like that happened. It’s not fair, having weather this nice when we’re trying to study! And it’s extra not fair having a library with big, wide, panoramic windows that show the whole freaking campus! Here I am, staring at engineering textbooks that can make a student’s eyes glaze over at the best of times, and what am I looking out over? Hacky sack, frisbee, and sun-tanning! I think I got about two paragraphs in before my eyes wandered up over the textbook to stare at the warm, sunny afternoon.
I tried to keep my focus at first, I really did. I dragged my eyes back down to circuit diagrams and tried to calculate resistances, but every few minutes my pencil would just start doodling and my eyes would drift back out to gaze aimlessly. I could just picture it in my head, the lazy heat of late spring and the breeze just strong enough to cool that heat off. It just felt so vivid to me that the real world of the library just sort of faded away, and the only thing I saw was the picture inside my head.
I was sun-bathing. I don’t really tan, actually; I’m an engineering student, I think it’s in our contract that we have to have milk-white skin regardless of gender. But in my daydream, I was in a tiny little electric blue bikini, and I was spreading out my towel, and everyone was looking at me–and not in that creepy, weird, “Does she know she has that mole there?” sort of way, like I always worry everyone’s looking at me when I’m showing any skin. No, they were looking at me like I was actually pretty–oh, shush, Sylvie. You always say that.
And in the daydream, I lay down on my towel, and just as I got out the suntan lotion, one of the hacky sack players broke away from the game and wandered over to me. And he knelt down next to me, and he said, “Do you need any help putting the lotion on?” He had just the tiniest trace of a French accent, and he looked…don’t laugh, okay? He looked like Adrien Brody in ‘King Kong’. And I looked at those long, slender hands and I gave this tiny little nod, because the sun was so warm and I was already so relaxed and it just felt like too much effort to move, even in my daydream.
I could imagine it so perfectly, Sylvie. It felt way more real than the library. I could actually feel the coolness of the lotion as it dribbled out of the bottle onto my back, and I could feel the warmth of his hands as he worked it into my skin. It felt so good, like all my muscles were melting, and I let out a little whimper.
Then I realized I’d actually whimpered out loud. That snapped me out of the daydream pretty quick. I know I was blushing as I looked around, but it must not have been that loud because nobody was glaring at me or anything. I tried to refocus my eyes; I must have sat there blinking for about a solid minute before the text looked like anything but blurry squiggles to me. I’m sure it was totally obvious to anyone who looked that I was off in la-la land.
My poker oyna trip back to reality didn’t last long at all. I read about six pages before I realized that I couldn’t actually tell you what was on any of them; I’d just been sitting there, turning pages and staring at the text without really taking any of it in. My eyes were seeing the words, but my mind was seeing the warm towel again, and feeling the hands on my body rubbing and massaging the lotion in. The campus had totally vanished, now; I was on a sandy beach, somewhere in the Mediterranean, staring off at that warm water that’s such a bright shade of blue that it almost seems fake. I didn’t know why my brain had decided on the Mediterranean, but a little voice in the back of my head kept describing it, and it sounded so good that I found myself going right along with the idea. The waves kept washing in onto the shore, making that dull crash that fades into a dull roar, and it all felt…perfect.
And after a while, the water seemed to float in, like the tide, but it was okay because I was on a raft. It felt even better that way, because I could actually feel the waves as well as see them and hear them, and it felt like I could drift and float that way forever. Those fingers kept rubbing and rubbing, and my eyes slid closed, and all I felt in the dream was warm sunshine on my back and warm water rippling against my fingers. All I had to do was relax and take it all in. All I had to do was let myself feel everything. All I had to do was lose myself in the fantasy.
That’s when I heard a little whisper tell me, “Why don’t I take your top off so I can rub the lotion in everywhere?” And it seemed so natural; even though my body was sitting there in the library, and on some level I knew that, on another level I knew that nobody would know what was going on in my mind’s eye. I could let the daydream become a little bit sexy, and that was okay. Nobody would know. Nobody would mind. I heard the whisper again, saying, “It’ll feel so good to let me rub the lotion everywhere,” and if I was melty in the daydream before, I was absolutely liquid now. I didn’t even nod, I just knew that they’d know, because we were all alone together and there was nothing at all wrong with letting whatever happened just happen. All I had to do was know that, and go along with that, and everything would be wonderful.
It was wonderful. I felt the fingers pull at the string that held my top on, and again at the strings that held my bottom on, and my bikini seemed to sort of…melt away, as those fingers found their way everywhere. It’s weird to think about how totally and completely I lost myself in that fantasy. I mean, there might have been anything going on around me, and there I was, just staring vacantly into space as I imagined a stranger petting my ass and rubbing my pussy. I probably wouldn’t even have noticed if someone had shouted, “Yo, Erica!” at me.
And I rolled over, and that felt even better, because those hands could get everywhere now. I felt fingers strumming my nipples, and I bucked upwards just a little and spread my legs wide open so that my pussy was wide open for them. And I knew that everything was alright, everything was perfect. I was just going along with the flow, going along with the fantasy, canlı poker oyna and that was fine. That was exactly what I needed to do. All I needed to do was let the fantasy take me wherever it took me, and know that deep down, that was what I secretly wanted all along.
I…um…it’s kind of weird saying this, Sylvie, because I know we’ve been friends for almost a year now and I don’t want to wreck that, but…in the fantasy? I’m not sure when it happened, but the person putting on the suntan lotion stopped being Adrien Brody and started being you. And the person fingering me and rubbing me and leaning down to lick my tits…that was definitely you.
It really weirded me out at first. I sort of lost the fantasy, but my brain didn’t really want to go back to reality, either. I was still too dreamy and unfocused and…um, yeah. And horny. I sat there for a while, looking out the window but not seeing anything, not sure really what to think about at all. I kind of drifted into a different fantasy; this time, I was lying on a waterbed, and the motion of the bed reminded me so much of the motion of the raft that it sent me right back into that same drifty, floaty state of mind. Looking back, I’m not sure I ever really left it.
And then I felt someone crawling into bed next to me, and even before I looked, I knew it was you–the way you just know things in daydreams without needing to see them, you know? And we were both naked, and your skin felt so fucking good against mine, just a little cool from the air conditioning but warming up so fast wherever I touched it, and there was that little voice in the back of my head again telling me, “This is what you wanted, this is what you secretly wanted all along…”
And I remember blinking, like I couldn’t really believe it was happening, but I felt your fingers stroking the back of my neck and it felt so real to me, Sylvie! It felt so real that I just sank back into the daydream, only this time we were on a camping trip together. And we were sharing a sleeping bag, and I was lying on my back, looking up at the stars while you reached down and fingered my pussy. And you were whispering in my ear, telling me how hot it was, telling me how good it felt, telling me how all I needed to do was just give in and believe it, and the stars sparkled and danced and I felt myself drawn into them like my body was blazing just like they were…
But it still didn’t feel right. It still didn’t feel like what I secretly wanted, even though everything in my mind was telling me that it was. I let go of the fantasy, but I couldn’t let go of the thoughts of you. I was still in the library, but it was just another daydream. In this daydream, you were sitting right next to me, like the person who was there had gotten up and you’d sneaked in and sat down while I was staring off into space, and you were talking to me. And the weird thing was that you were saying exactly what I was thinking. Every time you spoke, it was the exact same thing I thought in my head. And that was so cool, and so weird, that I forgot to even think about exactly what it was that I was thinking and you were saying.
And suddenly, in the daydream, I thought about how horny I was, and how sexy you were, and how hot it would be to sneak off and find internet casino someplace to have sex. And I took your hand, and it felt warm in mine, and everything seemed so totally real to me. It felt totally real when we stood up and you started to lead me off towards the stacks. And the whole time, I kept thinking, “Sylvie’s so hot. This is what I secretly wanted. This is going to feel so good, better than the best sex I ever had,” and this time I knew it was true. I couldn’t deny it anymore. It felt too real to me. I could even see your lips mirroring my thoughts, and I just couldn’t fight the truth of it anymore.
You led me down into the stacks, deep down into the archives until we couldn’t hear anyone breathing but us anymore. It felt so right, so magical and charmed as you pressed me back against a bookshelf and kissed me so hard it took my breath away. I heard myself moaning into your mouth, and I felt you unzip my pants and reach inside the waistband of my panties. They were soaking wet, Sylvie. Wetter than I’ve ever been in my life. I was totally lost in the fantasy, lost in the daydream. I knew that the voice in the back of my head was right. I wanted you. I needed you. And I realized right then that you’d wanted me ever since you first saw me.
It felt absolutely fucking perfect, Sylvie. You pulled up my t-shirt, undid my bra and dropped it on the floor, and then you pressed my hands to my own tits. And I knew as soon as you did it that they were locked there, that they wouldn’t be able to move until I came, and your words echoed my thoughts before I even thought them and that felt so utterly right that I almost came right there. But I didn’t, because I knew you wanted to lick me first.
And you did. You dropped to your knees and buried your face in my panties, inhaling my scent and rubbing your face against the damp fabric until I moaned in utter, aching need. Then you pulled my pants and panties down and licked and licked and licked, and I knew that anyone walking by would see me with my pants around my ankles and my shirt around my neck, bare-ass naked and getting eaten out and that was so fucking hot and sexy and I came and I came and I came. I couldn’t stop. You didn’t want me to stop, and in my daydream, everything you wanted was the right thing for me to do and say and think and feel.
And when I finally sagged down onto your face enough that you could tell I couldn’t come anymore, you stood up and kissed me, and I could taste myself on your lips. And I suddenly wondered what you tasted like, but I also knew I’d have to wait to find out. I’ve been thinking about it all day, Sylvie. I haven’t been able to stop. I hope that doesn’t creep you out, because I really…I just really need to taste you. I really need to lick your pussy.
That was why I wanted to tell you about all this, Sylvie, because I realized that the feelings I had in the daydream are real. I know it now, deep in my deepest self. When I fantasized about you, that was just my deepest self telling me what I secretly wanted all along.
And you were so sweet in my daydream, helping me get dressed, walking me back up to my chair, sitting me down…you gave me the tiniest little caress on the back of my neck, and somehow I knew it was a promise of more. And then, in my daydream, you walked away, and I sat there for a while before I finally refocused back on the real world and started to get into my textbook again.
I wish I knew what I did with my pencil while I was off daydreaming, though.
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