Laura’s father had the remote. He was channel-hopping. Sometimes he could drive her nuts.
She lounged on the couch and watched the TV, this, that, this, that, a music channel, home shopping, a news reader, bare seconds of each station. She wanted to yell at him, ‘find something, find some damn thing, anything…’
Laura only had to look at a bar of chocolate to feel the weight settling insidiously on her hips. The multi-pack of king-size Raven bars in the kitchen was already over half empty but anything was better than another minute of channel changing.
She tore the wrapper and bit down… thick, thick chocolate, chewy caramel, screw the remorse, screw her complexion. She closed her eyes and chewed.
From the front room she heard fragments of TV shows, music, then talking, canned laughter, then a commercial, all in quick, maddening succession.
Her life sucked, the whole world sucked, but somehow chocolate always made it seem better.
Her father didn’t look at her when she went back to the couch. She sat down and rearranged her bath robe to cover her thick legs.
“-The guy who invented the remote died last week,” her father said. “Ninety three.” He hit the buttons, the picture changed. He was back to where he’d started, Channel One News. She heard him sigh and saw him shake his head. “You’d think there’d be something on worth watching.”
Laura let her mind wander. The TV screen became blurred. She saw herself on the checkout at the market. Smile and greet, smile until your face ached, and how many people were grateful? How many smiled back at the fat girl? She saw the way they looked at her. The only thing worse than the checkouts was filling the shelves, four hours on her knees rotating stock, looking at people’s feet.
One day she’d take a carton of eggs and go around the store, anyone she didn’t like the look of, here you go. She could see herself doing it, cracking eggs on their foreheads, and laughing as she did it.
She looked up to see Girls Aloud, simpering, pouting, putting out their chests, going through their routine in their tight, slinky clothes before her father switched bursa escort channels again.
“-Two more car bombs caused massive casualties in…”
Two more Raven bars, king-size Raven bars, waited on the work top. Thick, ridged chocolate…
Laura tried not to think about them. She wasn’t hungry, she knew she only wanted them because they were there. Tomorrow she wouldn’t buy any. She’d quit chocolate, lose weight, join a gym, eat healthier, feel happier, make some friends, get laid. She could do it if she tried. It was just a case of setting her mind to it. Determination and resolve. Next week, a little slimmer. The week after, a new hairstyle, maybe some colour. Later some sexy new underwear, something pretty. Then a new job, a new Laura, slim hipped, stylish, confident, loved, desired.
-Tomorrow.
She came out of her dream to see her father with the remote, came back to earth feeling sad, not good about anything.
“-The new wonder wiper, your floors have never been so clean…”
“Tomorrow night on Question Time we ask…”
“-The SDF furniture sale ends Saturday…”
In the kitchen Laura tore the wrapper from another Raven bar. One left. She felt like crying as she bit into it. Her teeth cut into the soft, yielding, delicious tasting chocolate. She found the caramel, so sweet and creamy, and chewed slowly.
Sometimes it was better if she didn’t think at all, not about anything.
It was a little before eleven when her father hit the off switch on the remote. The TV went dark and died with a faint crackle of static.
“Time for bed, I think,” he stood up and put the remote on top of the TV.
They said goodnight. Laura said she’d turn out the lights, she wouldn’t stay up too late, and yes, she did have work in the morning.
She heard him climb the stairs, slow footsteps, his bedroom door closed. A car passed outside, exhaust blowing, bass beat thumping, fading into the night.
Laura didn’t move. She could see the reflection of the room in the dark TV screen. She could feel the silence of the house around her, the stillness. Inside she felt the emptiness of bursa escort bayan her life. Her heart was beating softly, she was breathing, but there was nothing else.
Five minutes passed, ten, thirty, she wasn’t sure and didn’t care. It didn’t matter. She wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, not any one thing, it was more everything combined, her whole life, the world and everything in it that filled her mind, weighed her down, kept her there motionless. -Not really thinking, not really living. Feeling unhappy. Lost in herself.
In the kitchen she shook the last Raven bar from it’s outer wrapping. She looked at it lying on the worktop. Elegant red lettering on gold coloured paper. Sensual writing, if there was such a thing.
Chocolate always made her feel better somehow. It was kind of sad, kind of nice.
Kind of exciting.
What did it matter what she did when she was alone? Who would ever know? Not the customers who yelled at their kids every day. Not her father.
She didn’t think about the shortcomings of her body as she sat on the couch and opened her robe. None of that really mattered, shape wasn’t so important. Sometimes she could keep her thoughts in perspective, sometimes she couldn’t. Her breasts were large and pale and unfashionable, too big and too white, but her nipples invariably responded to the touch of her fingers.
She made them hard then, it didn’t take long, just the right touch, a gentle tug, sometimes a harder pinch. It was better not to think, better to simply enjoy. She closed her eyes. It felt good, her big soft body waiting to be explored, beginning to respond. She massaged her breasts, lifting them, manipulating them, excited by her own touch and they way her breasts moved. It didn’t matter that they were her own hands, the feeling was the same. Her hands moved lightly over her soft skin. It felt pleasant, very pleasant.
Her panties were big but so what? The crotch was wet when she peeled them down and her pussy lips were fat and ultra sensitive. Laura’s mouth was open as she trailed a finger lightly up and down between her open legs… -Not too much, not yet, escort bursa although she wanted to and knew she could. She wanted to savour it, enjoy it a while longer. She gasped, small orgasms were good. She pressed with the flat of her hand and stiffened again. Her other hand gripped the edge of the couch, relaxed, and gripped again.
The world and her worries fell away, slipped into the background, receded into the distance, were forgotten as she paused to open the last Raven bar with trembling fingers.
-Soon, very soon. She felt her need increasing.
Raven bars, perfect for those quiet, extra special moments.
Laura quivered with desire as she eased the thick blunt bar between her aching pussy lips. She moved it up and down there, spreading her lips. Up and down slowly, teasing herself, feeling herself getting wetter by the moment. Her hips shook as she eased it deeper, thick, dairy milk chocolate with a ridged top, melting, mixing with her juices, slipping deeper inside, deeper still. She groaned as she climaxed, arching her back, and pushing it inside her again, wanting more. She began to fuck herself with it, pushing it in, turning it, drawing it out, making thick, wet, messy noises. Faster, concentrating, chasing what she wanted, as many, as big as she could get. Her hips pumped uncontrollably as the thick chocolate bar slipped smoothly, messily in and out of her pussy, dragging out, sliding smoothly in, faster, wetter, messier. Orgasm after orgasm. The bar was melting, disintegrating, collapsing in her hand and in a frenzy she began to smear chocolate urgently all over her pussy, rubbing, gasping, climaxing again and again. She brought her hand, chocolate sticky and slick with her own juices to her breasts and pawed and squeezed and then lifted her nipple to her own eager lips. She closed her teeth and another massive orgasm, frightening in its intensity, exploded through her.
Her nipples were still hard an hour later. She’d showered away all traces of the chocolate. Her heavy breasts swayed as she dried herself. Her stomach looked big in the mirror, her life sucked, the whole world sucked, but for now none of it seemed to matter. Sometimes she could keep things in perspective, sometimes she couldn’t, but somehow chocolate always made her feel better.
Smiling to herself, feeling better than she had all day, Laura turned out the light.