My Night Out With The Gurls

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Brunette

San Diego, May 1971I was nervous as hell and hoped I looked alright. The long blonde wig I wore made my head sweat and itch like hell. And though the bra and the breast forms underneath the fuzzy sweater made me look passable when I looked at myself in the mirror earlier–and the makeup Crystal, Brenda and Chiffon had expertly applied helped a great deal in that respect–deep down inside I knew that I didn’t feel very feminine.“You gonna do fine, Sugah,” Crystal said from my left side as we walked down First Street toward the Plaza. “Just be yo’self like you been practicin’”Of course, the tight plaid skirt and half-slip I wore over my pantyhose helped tremendously in keeping my stride short and much more ladylike than my normal method of walking.Ahead of Crystal and me, Brenda and Chiffon kept on striding along like they’d done this sort of thing hundreds of times before, which perhaps they had, but it still didn’t make me any less nervous. We all just walked along as boldly and nonchalantly as we could and even elicited a couple of wolf whistles as we passed in front of the all-night theaters. We ended up going into the club Crystal took me to after our first time together. It was a gay bar/club where Crystal and her girlfriends hung out when they were not out walking (parading?) on the streets.We all sat in a corner booth that seemed made for more than just the four of us. I was in the middle, with Brenda (a sloe-eyed brunette) and Chiffon (an incredibly cute little black cherub) on one side of me and Crystal on the other.We ordered drinks and over the course of the next couple of hours, I got to become acquainted with some of the other regulars of the club. Most were just run-of-the-mill gay men. Usually, they were complimentary of my appearance and I did a lot of smiling back at them and saying, “Thank you.” But nothing really came of any of these meetings. Except one.His name was Kevin and when he found out I came from Wichita, Kansas, he perked up with a bright grin.“Really?” he asked. “I’m originally from Overland Park.”I smiled at him again and he kept grinning back. For a while, no one said anything else. Finally, I asked, “So how did you get out here to San Diego?” I tried my best to use a quiet, girly-sounding voice, but it was no use. The jukebox in the bar was playing and I had to speak over it to make Kevin hear me. I repeated my question a bit louder.“Navy,” Kevin said back. “Stationed here. Balboa Hospital.”“Corpsman?” I asked.He nodded. “Then, when I got out in ’68. I just stayed out here. I like the city. Started back to school out at San Diego State. How about you?” he asked me. “You military, too?”I nodded. “I’m still in. Out at North Island.”All this conversation was carried out in front of Crystal, who was between me and Kevin.“I gotta go use the Ladies’ Room.” Crystal said and started to get up. Kevin rose to let her out, then sat back down next to me.I could feel his leg up right next to mine, but didn’t move away or even mind his closeness. It just seemed natural to do so. It wasn’t a conscious decision on my part but if I figured that if I was going to be dressed as a girl, then I felt I needed to try to act like one, too. And letting things flow naturally just seemed right.So Kevin and I sat and chatted for the next hour or so. We started off just talking about Kansas and found out we had very similar stories. He had started college at Kansas State University in Manhattan, Kansas after high school, just like I had started at Wichita State. But both of us found we were not really suited to college life at the time and both of us dropped out after just one semester and both ended up joining the Navy. Kevin had been at Balboa his entire hitch after Corpsman training while I was assigned to a Destroyer Tender on the east coast after electrical, A and C schools which were all in San Diego. But my Tender was decommissioned in ’70 and I ended up back in the San Diego area. Kevin had finished his hitch, like he said, and just remained there in San Diego after it was over, going to school on the G.I. Bill.“So I joined the Navy to see the world and I only got to see San Diego and Charleston, South Carolina, and you joined and only got to see San Diego, huh?” I said.“Oh, I did get to see Camp Pendleton, too,” Kevin said. “Did my AIT up there. But then, right back here to Balboa.” He shook his head. “But at least I never got sent to ‘Nam.”“Well, that’s a positive,” I said.“No shit, Sugah,” Crystal chimed in. She had returned to the booth after the restroom and was sitting beside Kevin on the other side of me. “That’s one hellhole that ain’t nobody deserves to see. Wish to God I’d never seen that damned place.” She fell silent for a bit as the others of us thanked our lucky stars that we were not there.“But then,” Crystal went on, “I mighta nevah discovered my real self.” She smiled taksim escort at Kevin. “You helped me do that. Didn’t ya, Kev?”Kevin gave a bit of a self-deprecating shrug. “I guess,” he said. “If you say so.”I suppose I was looking kind of puzzled about what Chrystal said.“Oh, it’s true, Sugah,” Crystal squealed, laughing and gesturing with one long-nailed hand. She nodded toward Kevin. “You shoulda seen this guy, Sugah. There I was in my rack at the hospital and these two brothas was givin’ me a big load o’ shit ’cause I was cryin’ and carryin’ on this one time… I mean, they was bein’ real nasty to me. Callin’ me “fag” an’ “pussy” an’ stuff like that. And ol’ Kevin here.. He comes up an’ tol’ ’em ta just ‘back off!’ An’ one of these brothas was a Gunny. Givin’ me all sorts of shit. But Kev wouldn’t take none o’ that. Tol’ ’em ‘This man’s my patient! And I won’ stand fer ya’ll harrassin’ him like you been doin’.”I stole a glance at Kevin and he almost seemed to be blushing as Crystal told her tale.“An’ this Gunny… He start pullin’ rank an’ ever’thing. An’ Ol’ Kev here, he tells ‘im. ‘I don’ care if you a fuckin’ Gen’ral, Sergeant. I will not have you harrassin’ this man. He my patient’. An’ you was what, Kevin? Jus’ an E-4?”“Five,” Kevin said. “I’d just made Second Class about a week before.”“An’ that Gunny… He a real prick. He try to have Kevin, here, brought up on charges for insubordination an’ ever’thang. But them doctors an’ all… They tol’ that Gunny that on that ward, rank don’ mean shit when somebody harrassin’ a patient. That the Corpsman has charge an’ that Gunny was jus’ another patient. Stripes don’t mean shit.I found myself smiling at Kevin, grateful for him standing up for my friend Crystal.“So you…”“Yeah,” he said. “Never could stand people pickin’ on other people just because…”“’Course, I didn’t even know he was gay hisself,” Crystal said.“Being gay doesn’t have anything to do with it,” Kevin said, forcefully. “You just don’t treat people like that.” He took a sip from his drink. “Don’t care what your rank is.”That’s when I did something that totally shocked myself. I placed my hand on Kevin’s thigh and stroked it, lightly. My head was spinning and I began breathing quickly and shallowly, almost afraid of what would happen next. But it seemed like such a natural thing to do, especially being dressed like I was. And Kevin didn’t even seem to notice at first. Then after a while, I felt his hand on top of mine. An electric thrill seemed to shoot through my arm and body at the man’s touch. And I felt a stirring in my crotch as my dick started to harden a bit. I was light-headed and giddy.He turned a bit in my direction and smiled at me. I smiled back. He was really quite handsome in a down-home Midwestern type of way. Firm, chiseled chin. Clean shaven. Broad shouldered. Deep brown eyes.“Have you…” I started to ask but found my throat constricted. I cleared it and started again. “Have you always been gay?”Kevin shrugged. “Pretty much,” he said. “I did date some girls in high school. But…” He shrugged again.I sensed he was kind of uncomfortable. “That’s OK, honey,” I said. “I shouldn’t have asked that. You don’t have to tell me.” Again I was shocked at what I said, calling him ‘honey’ and everything. Maybe I was really getting into this girl stuff after all. I gave his leg an extra rub with my hand and felt him give the hand a little extra squeeze.I looked back over at Crystal. “So, how did you…”“Find out about Kevin? Why, he tol’ me, Sugah! That very night. ‘Course, it was latah, aftah them two brothas was gone. He was comin’ roun’ takin’ vital signs an’ I tried thankin’ ‘im for what he’d done. That’s when he tol’ me he was kinda gay hisself and jus’ couldn’t stand for them guys callin’ me a ‘faggot’ an’ stuff like they done”“Really?” I said to Kevin.The man just shrugged. “I don’t try to hide it,” he said. “And uh–Crystal here,” he nodded toward her, “looked like he…she needed some help. ‘Positive reinforcement.’ or something. I really didn’t know…”“Yeah,” Crystal said. “He didn’t even know ’bout me bein’ what I am now. He just thought I was another grunt.”“Weren’t you taking an awful chance doin’ that?” I asked Kevin. “I mean…”“I didn’t think so.”“Yeah,” Crystal chimed in. “He could tell. He knew what I was. Hell, even before I really knew it myself.”“Really?” I asked Kevin. “You can tell? Tell if somebody’s gay?”He shook his head, smiling ruefully. “No,” he said. “I don’t think anybody….” He shrugged again.“Well, what about me?” I asked. “Do you think I’m gay?” Again I was surprised at myself in asking that question.Kevin looked at me wide-eyed, as if genuinely shocked at my question. I turned more in his direction to give him a better view.I chuckled, “Yeah, I know.., Dressed like I am… Kind of a giveaway, huh? But really… I’m beşiktaş escort new at all this. “ Now it was my turn to blush. “I only… Been with guys a couple of… and only…”“Oh, yeah,” Crystal said. “She a new girl in town, all right.”I shot Crystal a hard look to let her know she wasn’t helping any.“I just… Just…” I looked down at my lap and removed my hand from Kevin’s leg.“Hey,” Kevin said in a kindly voice, grabbing my hand again under the table and holding it. “Don’t sweat it, Sugar.” He looked at me sweetly and smiled. “You don’t have to… You know… Put yourself in a… …in a box, or anything.” He shook his head. “All that stuff is just labels, anyway. It doesn’t define who you really are.”“Yeah,” I admitted with a shrug. “I guess I shouldn’t get caught up in all that stuff.”“Yeah, “ he said. “Just go with the flow.”So that’s what we did for the next couple of hours. We all just sat there in the booth, chatting and watching the other people there in the bar—and each other. We finished our drinks and ordered another round. More people came by, with more introductions and more positive comments on my appearance.Kevin asked me to dance on the little dance floor when a song came along on the jukebox that he liked and I agreed. But it wasn’t an intimate, close-contact type of song, I was more of a “show you moves” type. And that’s what I tried to do—a little self-consciously, I admit. It was difficult enough for me to even walk in the high heels Crystal had loaned me, much less to try to dance, so I just kicked them off and danced on my pantyhose-covered feet.I admit I’m really not much of a dancer, anyway, but I seemed to get by OK. But then a slow dance tune came along on the jukebox and Kevin took me into his arms— I allowed him to—and we shuffled through the song with my body right up against his and my arms over his shoulders, hands clasped together behind his neck, his arms around my waist. Kevin was taller than me, so it seemed like we were a natural fit. I kept looking into his eyes and Kevin kept looking into mine. And, of course, the intimacy of our close contact gave us both the beginnings of arousal. I could feel myself growing harder and could also feel that Kevin was feeling the same as I could feel his growing erection pressed against my belly.The song ended and hand-in-hand, we made our way back to the corner booth, both of us trying our best to conceal our growing arousal by the strategic placement of our free hands. Of course, Kevin had the advantage there. Being a man, he was able to put the fingers of one hand into his bluejeans’ pocket. But I had to content myself with carrying my borrowed shoes strategically in front of me.When we got back to the booth and sat down, Crystal and Chiffon told us they were thinking about going up to the “Four Aces” club—which was a bar about three or four blocks north and west of where we were. I looked over at Kevin.“Do you want to go there with them?” I asked. He shrugged–a gesture that I found very like something I’d do. Again it hit me how similar we were.“Why not?” he said. “If you’re going, I will, too.”“I think I’ve gotta go,” I told him as I put my shoes back on. “We all came downtown here in Brenda’s car. So I better stick with them.” I picked up my clutch purse, stood up and followed the others toward the door with Kevin following us. Without even thinking about the propriety of it, I reached back for Kevin’s hand and he automatically grasped mine in return when I found it.Soon the five of us were back on the street walking toward The Four Aces. Crystal, Chiffon and Brenda formed a threesome across the sidewalk and Kevin and I followed in their wake, but were no longer holding hands.“Where does Brenda live?” Kevin asked me.“Damned if I know,” I told him with a chuckle. “Somewhere down by Imperial Beach, I think”I told Kevin how Crystal and Brenda had been coming up to Coronado via the Strand the past couple of weekends to pick me up and taking me back to Brenda’s house. She lived in a small bungalow she said belonged to her parents.“So, what were you all doing down there?” Kevin asked me.“Practicing,” I told him. “Like I said, I’m really new at all this stuff. In fact, this is the first time I’ve been out in public like this.” I spread my arms out and glanced down at my clothes. “You know, all dressed up like this.”“Really?” he said. “Well, I think you look great.”“Thanks,” I said. “I really didn’t know how much you have to practice when you’re trying to look and act like a girl.”“Well, he said, “You’re doing a great job of it.”Needless to say, I found myself drawn more and more to Kevin all the time. I’d pretty much decided already (like back when I was looking into his eyes on the dance floor) to try to make something happen with him before the night was over. But the prospect made me nervous as hell. I fell silent; for a long time, it seemed to me. I knew that what I really wanted to do was to just blurt out, “Kevin, I want to suck your dick!” But I’ve never been quite that bold.“Kevin,” I said, finally, “Do you really want to go up to The Four Aces?”He looked over at me and shrugged—that familiar gesture that reminded me so much of…ME!”Well,” he said, “not really. I was only going along because you said you were.”“Yeah. And the main reason I was going with them is because… Well, all my clothes and stuff—civilian clothes and everything else… They’re all down at Brenda’s house.” Of course, what I really meant was my guy clothes. “But I have my money and I.D.–Military I.D., Driver’s License and stuff—right here.” I held up my clutch purse.“So,” I started, then stopped, cleared my throat and took the plunge, “if you’d like to go somewhere else… Like to a restaurant or somewhere where it would just be the two of us…” I could feel my nervousness at what I was proposing, even though I didn’t come right out and say it. “I’d really rather do that,” I told him.Kevin stopped walking and so did I. He turned toward me and smiled, broadly. “Sure. I was hoping you’d me ask something like that.”By this time the other girls were a few yards ahead of us. “Hey, Ladies,” he said in a loud enough voice to reach them. The girls stopped to listen. “Sugar and I are going back to the club.”He turned back to me. “You know how to get ‘hold of ’em, later, don’t you?” I nodded. I had both Brenda’s and Crystal’s phone numbers. Kevin turned back to the others, “She’ll give you a call, later” He told them. He turned back to the way from which we had come and started walking, indicating I should come along. My head was spinning and I felt giddy and light-headed. But I could feel myself smiling broadly as I walked up beside Kevin and entwined his right arm with both of my hands. I almost felt like a girl going on her first date as a teenager.We walked in relative silence and with purposeful speed, as if anxious to return to the club/bar where we’d been earlier. But when we got there, Kevin walked right on past.“Where are we going?” I asked him.“My car,” he said. “Then we can go to my apartment.”“Is that very far?“No, not really.”I almost gulped, wondering what I’d let myself in for. Of course, I thought Kevin was very handsome and charming and had been flirting with him in a coquettish, feminine manner all evening, but I also knew how inexperienced I really was at the whole gay experience in which I was now involved—and getting more deeply involved in at every step we took together. Yet I also remembered Kevin’s advice from earlier to just ‘Go with the flow,’ so that’s what I did.About a block or so south of the club where we’d been earlier, Kevin angled off the sidewalk into a parking lot saying, “Here’s my car.” He walked up to the passenger’s side of a white Buick, unlocked the door with the keys he pulled out of his left pocket, opened to door to let me in—being the perfect gentleman. But as he held the door to allow me to get in, though, he said, “Hey.”I paused and looked up at him. He leaned forward a bit, kissed me, lightly and without even thinking about it, I kissed back. I went ahead and sat down in the passenger’s side of his car’s front seat. ‘WOW!’ was all I could think as Kevin walked around to the driver’s side and got in.“I’ve been wanting to do that all night,” he said as he started the car.“Really?” I said. Kevin’s car had a front bench seat instead of buckets, so I slid across it to be closer to him, just like I’d seen hundreds of other couples on dates doing. This time he put his right arm around my shoulder and his left around my waist to pull me close as he kissed me again. His lips parted and so did mine as our tongues battled each other in our mouths. We kept kissing and holding each other for several minutes.Finally, I leaned back and just looked at him. “I thought we were going to your place,” I said, quietly through my constricted throat.“Yeah,” he said, leaning away from me and putting the car in gear. “We are.”He drive out of the parking lot and down several side streets, but soon I recognized that we were back on Broadway headed east, away from downtown. Without having to use his hands to steer so much, now, his right arm was now across the back of the bench seat and around my shoulders. I pulled my legs up onto the bench seat and nuzzled into him as best I could without restricting his driving.I was still wondering what the night was going to bring when Kevin stopped his car in front of a complex of triplex apartments. They looked like they’d been built in the 1920s or ’30s, back when not everyone had a car, and being right there on Broadway, they could be on the main bus or trolley line. Kevin got out of the car and was heading around to my side, ostensibly to let me out, but I was not used to being catered to like that so I opened the door myself and was out of the car by the time he arrived. He took my hand and led me to the central sidewalk.

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