Mean Girls

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“Here’s to twenty years. Twenty fucking years.”

Jeremy and I are sitting on the trunk of his car in the parking lot of our old high school. Nineties music floats out from the gymnasium. He passes me the flask.

“I don’t know why I let you talk me into this.” I take a swig and wipe my mouth with my sleeve. “I don’t want to see any of these people.”

“Not even to brag about your amazing life in San Francisco?”

“No. I sincerely don’t care about any of these assholes.” I give Jeremy a big, showy kiss on his cheek. “Except for you, buddy.”

“You’re supporting me. Because you’re a good friend. That’s why you’re here.”

“If you say so.”

Jeremy hops down onto the wet pavement and offers me his hand.

“Let’s pull off the Band-Aid, kiddo.”

“Pretty apt metaphor. Hang on, let me kill this whiskey.”

I finish the rest of the flask and we head inside. We’re surrounded by a hoard of people I only vaguely recognize.

I pick up my nametag and notice that it says “Connie” instead of “Constance.” I borrow a Sharpie from the welcome table to scribble it out. I lean over to Jeremy and yell above the din.

“Those fuckers. They know I hate that name.”

“I thought you were too cool to care.” He links his arm with mine. “Let’s find this open bar I’ve heard so much about.”

Jeremy orders us two IPAs and promptly abandons me for his AV Club friends. I have no idea what to do with myself. I decide to sneak a cigarette in the D-Hall bathroom for old time’s sake.

The paint is a different color, and the stalls are new, but otherwise it looks the same. I crack the window, lean against the cinderblock wall, and spark one up. It already feels like I’ve been here for hours.

The door swings open. She’s wearing a tight khaki shirtdress and brown knee-high boots, with thick wavy hair that cascades down her back. Vanessa ataköy escort Nazari. She was the most popular girl in our grade, and one of the biggest bitches.

She did play an important role in my coming of age. Sitting behind her in English class, smelling her perfume and staring at the back of her long neck, was the first time I knew for sure that I liked girls. Not even her cruelty could deter me.

“Hey, Constance! Great minds think alike, huh?”

“I guess so.”

Vanessa takes out a pack of Camels and roots fruitlessly around the bottom of her bag.

“Got a light? I swear, my purse is like a black hole.”

“Yeah, sure.”

I light her cigarette and resume my position on the wall. Vanessa smiles at me warmly.

“So I heard you work at Google now? That’s really awesome. You were always so good with computers.”

I roll my eyes and throw my butt in the wet sink. It sizzles when it hits the porcelain.

“We’re not friends. We don’t have to do the whole small-talk thing.”

Vanessa looks down at her hands.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. The truth is I’m ashamed of the person I used to be, and there’s a lot of things I wish I could take back. But I can’t.”

“You were a real bitch, you know? You and your shitty friends made my life hell.”

“I know. But if it makes you feel any better, life has really been kicking my ass lately.”

I give her a wry smile.

“It doesn’t.”

I step forward, pull Vanessa’s body against mine, and kiss her passionately. She’s surprised, and then she melts into my arms. Her kiss is sultry and intimate. She runs her long manicured nails across my scalp. I caress her thick thighs. She’s everything I dreamed about.

I feel her curves over her clothes and trace her decollatage with my fingertips. She reaches down. Rubs my vulva avcılar escort over my pants. I bite her earlobe. She moans. Grinds against me. I put my hands under her skirt. Her pubic hair is neat and trimmed.

The door squeaks open again. We hastily straighten ourselves up. It’s Evelyn fucking Thomas. The only girl I hated more than Vanessa Nazari.

“Seriously?” Evelyn defiantly puts her hand on her hip and glares at Vanessa. “Is this what’s taking you so long? Catching up with Cocksucker Connie?”

“Drop it, Evelyn. No one asked.”

“Is that freak hitting on you?”

“Drop it.”

“She always was up your ass. You should give her what she wants.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Teach her a lesson for being such a creepy stalker. She’d probably like it, anyway.”

“Um.” I look back and forth between the two of them. “What’s happening here?”

Evelyn takes a toothbrush travel case out of her purse and slaps it against her hand. Vanessa looks horrified.

“Jesus Christ, Ev. What’s wrong with you?


I catch Vanessa’s eye when Evelyn’s not looking and mouth “Do it!” at her. She’s confused at first, then a mischevious grin breaks across her face. I nod enthusiastically.

Vanessa pins me against the plastic stall by my throat while Evelyn cackles with delight. I tilt my head forward and bring my lips to her ear. She’s still wearing CK One.

“Hit me,” I whisper.

Vanessa slaps me across the face. I gasp with pleasure. She backhands the other cheek. My knees buckle. I would kiss the ground she walked on.

“Get her, girl,” Evelyn hollers.

Vanessa manhandles my breasts, pulls my hair, bites my flesh. My arms are stuck behind my back. I try to remain stoic and not give away our game. She stuffs her pashmina into my mouth and gestures beylikdüzü escort at Evelyn.

“Help me.”

Evelyn pins my wrists above my head. She sneers at me and pinches my nipple. I’ve never been attracted to her before, but I’m weirdly into it. Vanessa pulls down my pants, my briefs. She blows on my labia to get me wet. I’m already there. Evelyn is too preoccupied with her phone to notice what’s happening between us.

Vanessa teases me with the textured plastic tube and slowly slips it in. I moan and writhe against the stall. She fucks me with one hand and flicks my clitoris with her thumb. She changes up her rhythm. I thrust my hips.

“No way,” Evelyn groans. “Of course you fucking like it. That is so creepy.”

“Evelyn. Shut up.”

Vanessa presses on my perineum and adds some fingers to the mix, and I cum so hard my legs turn to Jell-O. She pulls my pants up and takes the scarf out of my mouth. My tongue is rough and dry.

Evelyn shoves me against the stall on her way out. Vanessa follows, blowing me a kiss. I masturbate furiously as soon as they leave.

Afterwards, I text Jeremy to meet me at the bar and head. I order a couple shots and send Vanessa a message on Facebook while I’m waiting.

CONSTANCE: I can’t believe I just had a threesome with Vanessa Nazari and Evelyn Thomas! No one would even believe me

She texts back a few minutes later.

VANESSA: Meet me in the girls locker room

VANESSA: I want you

CONSTANCE: Take off your clothes




Vanessa sends me a photo of herself in front of a row of lockers. Her body is phenomenal. She’s everything I used to dream of.

CONSTANCE: Be there in twenty


I flip back to Vanessa’s photo. It’s like her eyes are boring into my soul. Jeremy sidles up next to me at the bar.

“Hey stranger! Are you ready to go?”

I put my phone away and slam my last shot.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

We swipe a bottle from the bar, hit the door, and leave Hillcrest High behind.


Originally published in “Stories To Bang By, Vol. 47: Hate Sex”

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