Can pocket tits replace women, as dildos and vibrators have replaced men?
“Hey, Vinnie, what you doin’ standing there like that?”
Angelo walked across the street to where his friend was standing with his hands in his pockets and smiling.
“What you mean?” Vinnie stopped smiling, but did not remove his hands from his pockets.
“You look like a fool smilin’ like that with your hands in your pockets.”
“Oh, I’m just happy,” he said smiling again.
“It looks like you are playin’ pocket pool with yourself,” he said putting his hand in his pocket and moving it back and forth quickly while laughing.
“Pocket pool? Nah,” he said laughing. “You’re crazy.”
“So, why you so happy?”
“Tits!”
“Tits?”
“Tits!”
“What d’ya mean tits?”
“Oh, not just any tits, my fat friend, but pocket tits.”
“Pocket tits?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Lemme see,” said Angelo looking down at Vinnie’s pocket.
“See,” said Vinnie pulling a hand from his pocket, opening it, and showing his friend what he was holding. “It’s a sex toy, but for guys.”
“Sex toy? What d’ya mean a dildo?”
“Nah, it’s a pocket tit,” he said handing him the one in his hand and pulling out the other one.
“Mary, Mother of God, it feels real,” said Angelo running his finger around the areola and feeling the nipple. “The weight of it and the soft firmness of it, it feels like the real thing.”
“I haven’t casino oyna stopped playing with them since I got them for Christmas.”
“That was a Christmas gift?”
“Yeah,” said Vinnie smiling again while he ran his fingers over the other tit that he still had in his hand.
“Who bought them for ya?”
“My girlfriend.”
“Get outta here! Maria bought you pocket tits for Christmas.” Angelo looked at Vinnie like he was crazy. “If I bought my Rose a sex toy, one of those dildos or vibrating things, she’d think that I didn’t love her no more,” said Angelo unable to stop himself from feeling and fingering the pocket tit that he still held in his hand.
“Really?” Vinnie suddenly had a troubled look on his face. “She’d think that you didn’t love her no more?”
“Yeah, she’d think that,” said Angelo, “If I bought her a sex toy, our sex life would be over.” He looked at his forlorn friend. “I can’t compete with no dildo and vibrator.”
“Gees, do you think Maria doesn’t love me no more?” He looked at his fat friend. “I hope our sex life is not over.”
“I don’t know, Vinnie, things don’t look so good with you standing like this on the street corner smilin’ with your hands in your pockets and playing with pocket tits.”
“Yeah, now that I think of it, I haven’t touched Maria’s tits since she bought me these things.”
“If I were you, I’d go home right now and squeeze her tits. Yeah, go home, feel slot oyna her up, go right up her bra, take them out, and suck them a little bit. You know, let her know that the real things are better than pocket tits.” He looked down at the pocket tit in his hand that he was still holding, feeling, and fingering. “Yeah, make sure you tell her that the real tits are way better than these pocket tits,” he said mindlessly looking down again at the pocket tit. “But this feels so real.”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t? You can’t what?”
“I can’t go home, feel her up, squeeze her tits, go up her bra, take them out, and suck them a little bit.” He looked at Angelo with a sorrowful expression. “I can’t tell her that her tits are way better than these pocket tits.”
“Why? Because these pocket tits are way better than real tits?” He looked at his friend. “Lie to her. Tell her that they are.”
“No, it’s not that.”
“Why then? Why can’t you go home, feel her up, squeeze her tits, go up her bra, take them out, and suck them a little bit? Why can’t you tell her that her tits are way better than these pocket tits? Why, Vinnie? Why?”
“Tonight is her sex toy party.”
“Sex toy party? What’s that?”
“She sells sex toys, you know, dildos, vibrators, and now these new pocket tits. She said that even have a portable vagina.”
“Get out! A portable vagina? You mean a pussy? A portable pussy? What are they going to think of canlı casino siteleri next?”
“Yeah.” He looked at his friend. “It’s suppose to feel like the real thing, only better because you can squeeze it for more pressure around your cock. She said that she would get me one for my birthday. I guess the good ones, like this one is, are really expensive.”
“Yeah, ain’t that the truth. Good pussy always cost ya a lotta dough.”
“I’m fucked,” Vinnie said with a rejected look on his face.
“I don’t know, Vinnie. I suspect you are doomed because once these broads discover dildos and vibrators; they don’t need us guys no more. That’s how they turn lesbian, you know, by using sex toys.”
“Seriously? Lesbian? God, I hope Maria doesn’t turn lesbian on me.”
“When was the last time you two, you know, ba da bing ba da banged,” he said moving his hand forward and back.”
“Not since…not since…Jesus, not since she started selling these sex toys,” he said looking to his friend with tears in his eyes.
“See? I told ya.” He handed the pocket tit back to Vinnie. “Here. I don’t want any part of this thing. It’s evil. I’m just glad my Rose doesn’t have any sex toys.”
“Rose?” Vinnie looked at his friend with sorrow. “I’m sorry, Angelo.”
“Sorry? What are you sorry for?”
“Maria invited Rose to the party tonight. She’s there already.”
“Give me that freakin’ pocket tit back.” Angelo rubbed the pocket tit at a feverish pace as if it was a worry stone. “Do these come in a bigger size? A double D cup?”
“I’ll find out.”
“Do you think Maria can get another portable Vagina? Just tell me what it cost and I’ll give ya the money.”