The Hymen Theory Ch. 02

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Chris yawned at Sam who stood in front of him; arms crossed wearing a slight frown on her face. He glanced at his bedside table, squinted to focus at the alarm clock and saw its thirty minutes after four in the morning.

“I mean why ‘hell no’ Chris?” Sam continued, “You sounded and looked SO against breaking my hymen! Well hello it is MY hymen and I have the final say who will break it. And I chose YOU.”

Chris sat up groggily. “And you just brought up the question NOW?” He did thought Sam gave up on her crazy Theory and his supposed participation in it a week ago when she calmly accepted his refusal. He certainly saw his housemate nodded in acquiescence then spent the remainder of that night cooped up inside her room. Days after, Sam either spent time with Mona finishing her latest manuscript or locked inside her room doing God knows what.

“Duh. I offered space which gave you enough time to think things over before plunging in again!”

Therefore, she decided the right time is now. Sam actually barged inside his room, at FOUR THIRTY in the morning, to have this follow-up conversation.

“A week after and the answer is still NO.”

Looking very frustrated, the brunette uncrossed her arms and sighed. “Believe me Chris if this is not important to me I will not insist at all. I tried every darn thing I could think of to get rid of this… this hymen but nothing worked. Mona’s suggestions-.”

Hearing the researcher’s name completely woken Chris up. “What exactly did Mona suggested?”

Sam blushed. “Well….she gave me a few, um, interesting vegetables to experiment on.”

“And the cucumber failed.” It is not a question.

“Yes.” Defeated sigh. “So thus the eggplant. Honestly, pushing those veggies inside me had been a demeaning experience. Add embarrassing, depressing and well, since I am being very honest here…itchy and painful.” Sam cringed. “Besides, I really do prefer, um, the real thing you know?”

“Penis,” Chris said bluntly, “You prefer a man’s cock.”

“Yes,” Sam confirmed as bluntly then swallowed hard, “YOURS to be exact.”

Chris cursed feeling the heat on his face. Great. Sam kartal escort bayan just made him blush. Of all possible reactions to have….FUCK. “For your sake I’d rather not be the man-.”

“You’re blushing,” Sam interrupted moving closer to the bed to peer at him curiously.

Double fuck. “No.”

“Yes you are,” the brunette insisted, sitting on the bed. “You are SO red.”

Chris frowned at her in irritation. “Cut it out Sam. I never blush.”

“Spare me the macho act Chris,” Sam replied rolling her eyes, “People blush, it is a normal phenomenon. What is abnormal is your reluctance to help me.”

“You just have to insert that huh.”

“One night is all I’m asking Chris, no strings attached. Just free me from my vagina’s conscience forever. Help me become the kind of woman that I am supposed to be. Help me become date-material, the type that welcomes groping and French kissing. Make me somebody fun. Make me a promising one-night-stand!”

The woman is actually glowing at the end of her speech, Chris noted in disbelief. If Stuart dreamed of living longer, he had better disappear. If that whacko did not cheat, Sam would still be her old, sensible self. Hymen intact and all. “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”


“I thought we’re friends.” The hurt in Sam’s voice is unmistakable.

“We’re actually more than that, we’re family. I care a lot about you.” Chris seriously replied hating himself for hurting Sam in anyway.

“Then why won’t you help me?”

Chris gave her a measuring look. “Because sex can ruin everything. What we have right now is too precious to gamble on and taking your virginity is that: a huge gamble. However willing you are right now, fact is you remained a virgin at your age because you treasured it so much. You are not a one-night stand and never will be.”

“But I can be that Chris! I can be hot and, and… sexual as,um, Imogen! I just have to get rid of my virginity,” Sam insisted. “I am twenty-nine years old. I lived a closeted life so to speak and you know that. The very reason why I chose you to be my first was that you were part of my safe, dependable life. YOU were escort maltepe safe and dependable period. I never wanted some random man Chris, not even Stuart who I dated for a year. I wanted YOU. My hymen deserved that, it deserved someone familiar who I trusted completely. You got me right?”

He did not answer.

“Are you worried about Imogen?” Sam tentatively inquired.


“Good because you do not have to. I am not a threat Chris. I never, not even once, looked at you that way. I meant of course I love you but I am NOT in love with you. You are not my type at all. You are just going to help me change my life. Consider deflowering me as strictly platonic.”

Chris snorted. “Now I know your totally crazy Sam. There is no such thing as platonic sex! Two people fuck because they want to. It is more than trusting a person. It is feeling the attraction, the lust. The urge to hump and pump someone or vice-versa. Trust me; Passion can never be platonic.” He shook his head. “Not possible.”

Sam pondered on what the man beside her said then took a deep breath. “You are so right. I cannot expect you to have sex with me because you are not even remotely attracted to me. Without attraction, there will be no erection: The Golden Rule of Sex. I may want my hymen broken but just because I want to get rid of it, it does not guarantee that I can arouse you. Or vice-versa.” She grew silent for a full minute then snapped her fingers. “I think I got it!”

“Got what?” Chris asked warily. His head was still processing Sam’s last words about the Golden Rule of Sex and here she will go blurt out another one. Wherever she got these thoughts truly boggles the mind. HIS specifically.

The brunette beamed at him. “I have to find someone I am truly attracted to — who’s also attracted to me – THEN sleep with him! A man I really want to have sex with, who will definitely make me want to French kiss him senseless. The mere fact that he arouses me means that my vagina trusts him enough to let him do sexual things to me. No offense meant to you of course.”

Of course. Chris scowled as he watched Sam happily looking at nothing in particular. pendik escort He will bet his entire life savings that she is in the first stage of putting her idea to work already. Like mentally skimming a list of everyone she knows and the people that these ‘everyone’ can set her up on a date. Someone attractive enough to get a response from her vagina and whom she will French kiss senseless.

Fuck senseless.

“Hey Chris, is Tim still unattached?”

“Tim? Tim Johnson? My bar manager Tim Johnson?” He is this close to yelling and he does not even know why.

“Yes. Whenever I saw him, he always seemed to check out my huge butt. However, he did not appear disgusted at all. He actually looked like he enjoyed staring at it.”

Chris gritted his teeth. Effective immediately Tim is going to take an extended leave. He will make sure of it.

“What about Brian? Brian Dudry I mean. Does his band still play at the bar?”

This virginity thing is getting out of hand. No, SAM is getting out of hand, Chris decided. She is so adamant to lose it that she is now considering HIS crowd as potential hymen breakers! Tim? What is she thinking? Tim would fuck a pole dressed as a woman for heaven’s sake! Brian? He fucks anyone who will gush about his trashy music!

“Or Rudy-.”

Sam just named one of his bartenders who happen to be bisexual. Imagine her face if Rudy proposed a threesome and the third party is another man. Chris snorted. If he will not put his foot down, Samantha Elizabeth Morris might even ask about his DJ and her hooking up with the fastest zipper ever known is unacceptable. He really has no choice.

“I will do it.”

Sam glanced at him. “What?”

“I said I will do it.”

“Do what?” she asked in confusion, her mind obviously focused on his remaining employees.

Chris frowned in annoyance. “I will fuck you.”


“Yes. I will be your hymen breaker.”

He will fuck her senseless if it is the last thing on earth he will ever do. Sam will get arouse all right. She will be so arouse she will forget about Tim, Brian, Rudy and even that sonofabitch Stuart Jones. It may feel wrong but the thought of those other men doing Sam is enough to make him reach a decision. HE will break Sam’s hymen NOT Tim, Brian, Rudy or Stuart. Him, ONLY him.

Satisfied with his final decision, Chris smiled at Sam. “So, when are we going to say goodbye to your hymen?”

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